The holidays can be challenging for many people
It is a time of year filled with celebration, but with that celebration comes reminders of things that are now different or people who are no longer with us. The holiday season can be a dichotomy of happiness and sadness at the same time. If you are a military spouse, the holidays can be extra challenging for a variety of reasons.
One of the things that makes this time of year so special is that it’s a time often filled with gatherings of family and friends. However, when you are a military family, you don’t always get the choice to be home for those special memories. If the command won’t give your spouse the time off, you may not get to travel. Or perhaps the cost of flying across the country as a family is just too expensive. You may feel left out of the festivities and miss being with those family members.
Being Away During the Holidays
Depending upon what part of the country you grew up in, the weather can often play a big part in providing a certain “feel” during the holidays. If you are used to colder weather, maybe even snow, getting stationed somewhere like MacDill Air Force Base in Tampa or Joint Base Pearl Harbor on Oahu – where the weather is always sunny and feels like summer even in December – may make you feel disconnected from the holiday celebrations. It can leave you longing for the place that feels familiar.
Perhaps this year, your spouse is deployed during Christmas
You may feel lonely or isolated, being far away from family and also without your partner. It can be hard to feel “in the spirit” when it is just you trying to do all the things to make the holidays as special as they can be for your kids, even though one of their parents won’t be around.
If you are finding yourself feeling sad, anxious or depressed, here are four ways to help you cope with the holidays as a military spouse.
Give Yourself Permission to Grieve and Be Sad
It can be tempting to just try to put on a happy face during the holidays. But if you feel sad over not being with family to celebrate or being so far away from home, you don’t have to pretend you are okay. Give yourself permission to grieve the loss you may be feeling. The loss of feeling connected to others during times of celebration can be very challenging and uncomfortable. So, allow yourself to cry or share with your partner, friends or family members that this time of year doesn’t always feel joyous for you. That is okay!
Find Ways to Connect With Other People
When you move frequently as a military family, you are constantly having to say goodbye to others. And if you recently PCS’d, you may not have created close relationships with others on base or in your neighborhood yet. The holidays can be a great opportunity to begin making connections with others. Reach out to a neighbor you haven’t met yet by bringing them cookies or introduce yourself to another mom on the playground and make plans for your kids to get together to go see Christmas lights. Finding ways to connect with others during the holidays can help you to feel less isolated and alone.
Create New Traditions as a Family
If you are used to cutting down your own Christmas tree in cold weather, that tradition might not be possible if you are stationed somewhere like MacDill Air Force Base in Tampa. The holidays will definitely look and feel a bit different when the climate is not what you are used to. But this is an opportunity to start new traditions, like going to Clearwater Beach on Christmas morning and building a “sandman” instead of a snowman. Or if you’re stationed at Belle Chase Navy Base, take a drive through Christmas in the Oaks in New Orleans, and make that a new yearly thing you look forward to as a family. Each new duty station allows you to create new traditions as a family for that particular place.
Talk With an Online Therapist
Life as a military family is filled with constant changes, and sometimes all those changes can feel extremely overwhelming, especially during the holidays. If you find yourself feeling depressed, it can be helpful to talk with an online therapist who understands the lifestyle you experience as a military spouse. An online counselor can help you to identify those things that are contributing to you feeling depressed and work with you to find ways to cope with those emotions. Being able to process your feelings of grief, sadness or loss may allow you to experience more happiness and hopefulness during the holiday season.
Start Counseling for Military Spouses in Florida, Louisiana, Colorado, or Hawaii
The holidays are a time of great joy. But, they can be equally stressful, and leave us feeling drained and depressed. I understand what you are going through, and would be happy to support you all year long. I offer support to clients living in Florida, Colorado, Louisiana, and Hawaii. To start your therapy journey, please follow these steps:
Schedule a free 15-minute consultation via phone or video
Start enjoying the holiday season!
Other Services Offered With Ashley Comegys, LCSW
I offer a variety of services for women living in Florida, Colorado, Hawaii, and Louisiana. This includes therapy for anxiety, online postpartum depression treatment, online postpartum support, and online depression treatment. I’m also happy to offer online grief counseling for women, online therapy for military spouses, and online trauma treatment for women. Visit my blog or about page to learn more today!