Motherhood is hard. REALLY hard. We are constantly at the beck and call of our little humans. And their survival depends on us. It can be hard to feel like we are truly present as parents if we are not even taking care of ourselves. When we don;’t make time for self care, chaos ensues.
When you fly on an airplane, they tell you that you need to put your oxygen mask on yourself before putting one on your child. That is a perfect metaphor for the importance of self-care as a busy mom. Because, if we don’t have our oxygen masks on first, we can’t help our little ones with theirs. So, here are five more ideas of how you can practice self-care as a busy mom. You can check out my first five tips here.
Go for a Drive Alone, Momma
There is a reason that people used to go for a “Sunday drive.” There is something relaxing about driving without a particular planned destination. If it’s been a rough day and you need a few minutes to yourself, ask your partner to stay with the kids and just drive. Maybe you have a destination or maybe you don’t. Put on some relaxing or enjoyable music, or even a podcast, take some deep relaxing breaths and drive.
Maybe, all you’ll do are a few circles around the block, or maybe it’s driving to the park to just sit for 30 minutes. Use the car as a space that allows your mind to focus on the present and leave the stress of the day outside the vehicle.
Go to bed early and leave the dishes for tomorrow
In the early days of motherhood, everyone tells you to sleep when the baby sleeps. Yeah…that sounds great and all, but it’s hard to do. The ongoing battle that every mom faces after the baby is sleeping is rather they should sleep, or if they should shower, wash the dishes, do laundry, watch TV, or complete one of the other million other things on their to-do list?
There are just not enough hours in the day to get it all done most days. And you know what? That is okay. Sometimes, the housework needs to take a back seat and sleep needs to win. Sleep has MASSIVE impacts on our physical, mental, and emotional health. There is a reason why sleep deprivation is a form of torture; it’s awful! So, if you find that you need rest, do it. The dishes, the laundry, and even the shower can wait.
Give yourself permission to say “no” to friends and family
Finding the balance to maintain friendships and family relationships in the midst of the busyness of life as a mom is a real challenge. For example, you feel obligated to accept that invitation to come over with the kids or meet up for dinner. But, that may not always be the best way for you to practice self-care as a busy mom.
So, if you’re noticing that the thought of going out somewhere with the kids is causing more stress than just staying at home, don’t be afraid to say “no!” That doesn’t mean that you won’t see them again. In fact, practicing self-care next week may mean getting out and doing something with friends and family. But for today, saying no to these people is the healthiest way you can care for yourself.
Unfollow People who make you Unhappy on Social Media
I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase, “comparison is the thief of joy.” There is real truth to that statement. And in today’s culture where social media is an integral part of most of our lives, curated images can lead to comparison, self-doubt, and ultimately, negative beliefs about ourselves. So, if you find yourself feeling self-critical, anxious, or stressed after you see posts from certain accounts or individuals, it’s worth considering what value that person or account adds to your life. If you only feel worse about how you’re doing as a mom, that may be an account you need to unfollow, or a friend you need to hide from your page.
Ultimately, you should follow people and accounts that provide value, encouragement, and empowerment to the work you are doing as a mother. Try to be a little pickier about the content that shows up in your feed.
Find counseling that works for you, online
Motherhood can sometimes bring up uncomfortable thoughts or experiences from the past. Coping with anxiety that comes with parenting can be a battle. But, talking with a professional therapist can be helpful. During therapy, you can learn ways to manage the stress of parenthood and cope with the hardships of your past.
As a busy mom, it can be extremely challenging to make time to see a therapist. For example, if you work, when are you supposed to make an appointment? And if you’re a stay-at-home mom, who is going to watch the kids while you see a therapist? The key then is to find a way to get therapy that works for you and your lifestyle.
Online therapy can help you meet your mental health needs while dealing with the demands of the busy life you live. Meeting with an online therapist can give you the same level of support as a traditional office visit. But, online therapy allows you to work WITH your schedule. You could meet with the therapist online from the comfort of your couch while the kids nap, or from your car, or from the office while you’re on your lunch break. The Online Counseling Directory can be a great tool to help you find a counselor licensed in your state who can help.
I am a licensed therapist in the states of Louisiana and Hawaii, and due to my license, I can only see clients who live in those two states.
Make Time for You, Mama!
Use these ideas to find a self-care practice that works for you. Get creative and find even five minutes to nurture yourself each day. If you need more ideas, check out Part 1 for five more ideas for practicing self-care for busy moms!
Begin Online Therapy With Ashley Clark-Comegys, LCSW
If you’re a Mama and struggling to take care of your own needs, therapy can help. I am a licensed therapist in Louisiana and Hawaii who specializes in proving online therapy for mothers online. If you are interested in starting online therapy in Hawaii or Louisiana, please follow these three simple steps:
1. Call 504-534-5636 or click here to email me,
2. Schedule your free 15-minute phone or video consultation with me,
3. Begin taking care of your own needs and focus on emotional wellness.
Online Mental Health Services Offered By Ashley Clark Comegys LCSW
As an online therapist, I provide a variety of online mental health services to residents of Louisiana, Colorado, and Hawaii. These include individual counseling for women, therapy for anxiety and depression, counseling for mothers, counseling for women who are dealing with grief and loss, counseling for military spouses, and counseling for women who have survived trauma. If you live in Louisiana, Hawaii, and Colorado and would like to know more about the ways online therapy can help you, please contact me!
About the Author:
Ashley Comegys is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker who focuses on working with women with anxiety. She holds a license in both Louisiana and Hawaii, and specializes in providing online counseling in both states. Based in New Orleans, LA and Mililani, HI Ashley helps women find healthy ways to cope with the anxiety that often follows life transitions, grief, loss, and trauma. If you need help finding ways to cope with your anxiety, contact Ashley to schedule your free 15-minute consultation.