Moms are typically the ones who carry the mental load of the family. On top of all the physical tasks of motherhood, we have to focus our attention to the literal survival of another human being, or maybe several of them. The role of “Mom” requires you to constantly pour out of your cup to meet the needs of your children. However, when our cup is empty, it’s nearly impossible to cope with our own stress and anxiety. So how are you supposed to find time for yourself when your schedule barely allows you time to shower?
I get it. I’ve been there too. So, came ten ideas on ways you can practice self-care as a busy mom.
Moms can Find a way to get physically active
Motherhood often involves lots of sitting. If you’re breastfeeding, you’re sitting; if you’re bottle feeding, you’re sitting. If you’re playing with your kid on the floor, you’re sitting.
Being physically active doesn’t have to mean going for a run or to the gym. It just means to get moving! Exercise naturally boosts your mood and can help focus, sleep, and have more energy. But the most important thing is to find a way of being physically active that works for YOU!
Sometimes, this involves figuring out creative ways to include your kids. For example, Friday morning walks with my son in the stroller and a podcast playing have become acts of self-care that I now look forward to. I find myself feeling so much better after I’ve done it.
Another way I’ve found to be physically active is to use Amy Kiser’s Body Fit by Amy videos on YouTube. She is a mom herself and she gets how hard it can be to find time to exercise!
“You’ve now been working out five minutes and the baby may be crying now, and you have to stop, but that’s okay because you moved for five minutes!”
She purposely created workouts as short as five minutes because sometimes, that’s all you’ve got!
Ultimately, find an activity that works for you, at a time that works for you, and get moving!
Self-Car Moment: Sit in the car before coming in the house
When you get out of the house without the kids consider taking a minute for yourself before immediately running in the house to relieve your spouse or the babysitter.
Just sit there. In the car. By yourself.
For example, when you get a minute to go to the store alone, take a minute when you get in your car to just breathe and refocus your energy before heading home.
Set a quick timer on your phone and use those few minutes to nurture yourself instead of mentally jumping into what awaits you on the other side of the door.
Listen to five minutes of a podcast that you enjoy. Listen to a guided meditation and do some belly breathing. Or blast the radio and just rock out and dance. Give yourself permission to not simply rush from one task to the next, but to stop and take a metaphorical (and maybe literal) breath between activities and responsibilities.
Stay up late and watch that show you love
Being a mom doesn’t allow for much alone time. But, it’s so important for our mental health. Finding time to engage in self care allows us to mentally check out and be alone. Sometimes, the only time that may be possible is after everyone has gone to bed. But then you might feel guilty for taking time to yourself instead of sleeping and getting enough rest for the next day.
Although sleep is so important for our physical and mental health. Sometimes, the benefit of having a moment truly to yourself outweighs that extra 30 minutes of sleep you could have. Give yourself permission to stay up and watch that show you’ve been dying to catch up on. Make tonight a night where self-care means staying up later, mentally checking out, and doing something that makes you happy.
Mom Break: Go to a hotel for the night
We all need a break. Moms, dads, even kids need a break. So, if you have a spouse, partner, or someone who can keep the kids overnight, go stay at a hotel by yourself. No spouse. No kids. Just you! Take up that whole bed with no one kicking you. Choose not to set an alarm. Watch whatever you want on the TV without someone asking to put on Elmo or Paw Patrol. Eat room service. Most importantly do whatever makes you happy. Use that night to practice self-care by creating space for just yourself and nurture your body and mind.
Be gentle with yourself, Momma. You’re Doing Great.
Whether you are a stay-at-home mom or you work outside the home, balance is one of the hardest things to find as a parent. Figuring out how to manage the needs of your tiny humans, the needs of your spouse or partner, and your own needs is the ongoing holy grail we all chase.
It can be very easy to become critical of ourselves regarding how we are doing with that balance. We notice the areas in which we feel we are lacking rather than building ourselves up. We don’t recognize the areas in which we are succeeding. Be gentle with yourself. No parent has this balance figured out, and if they tell you otherwise, they are lying!
Balance requires constant readjusting and flexibility as life shifts. No two kids, no two families, no two moms are the same. So, don’t compare others’ successes with your own. Instead, offer self-compassion to recognize, “This shit is hard! I’m doing the best I possibly can at this moment, and that is okay.” Gently remind yourself that this motherhood thing is hard, and you’re doing a great job.
Make time for yourself, Mama!
Some of these self-care ideas for busy moms may not be a perfect fit for you. But hopefully, these can be a springboard to create your own self-care plan to nurture yourself. Find what works for you and practice it! For more ideas on how to practice self-care as a busy mom, check out part 2 of this blog series.
Online Therapy With Ashley Clark-Comegys, LCSW
I would love to connect with you to talk about how I may be able to help you take care of your mental health as a mom. I specialize in helping mothers cope with stress, anxiety, and depression. If you are interested in starting online therapy in Hawaii or Louisiana, please follow these three simple steps:
1. Call 504-534-5636 or click here to email me,
2. Schedule your free 15-minute phone or video consultation with me,
3. Learn how to care for yourself and find emotional wellness.
Online Mental Health Services Offered By Ashley Clark-Comegys, LCSW
I provide a variety of online therapy services to residents of Louisiana and Hawaii. These include individual counseling for women, online therapy for anxiety and depression, counseling for mothers, counseling for women who are dealing with grief and loss, counseling for military spouses, and counseling for women who have survived trauma. If you live in Louisiana, Colorado, or Hawaii, contact me to learn more about the ways I can help you!
About the Author
Ashley Comegys is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker who focuses on working with women with anxiety. She holds a license in both Louisiana and Hawaii, and specializes in providing online counseling in both states. Based in New Orleans, LA and Mililani, HI Ashley helps women find healthy ways to cope with the anxiety that often follows life transitions, grief, loss, and trauma. If you need help finding ways to cope with your anxiety, contact Ashley to schedule your free 15-minute consultation.