Hey there, NOLA mom, how are you?
I’m going to guess the answer is, “I’m really not okay.” I hear ya. It has been a really rough last few months, and not many of us are “okay.” And guess what? THAT is okay!
To say that life has been rough since March 2020 is an understatement. Most of us have been operating in survival mode since the start of the COVID-19 pandemic. Between trying to figure out balancing the roles of homeschool teacher, childcare provider, and lunch and snack lady, plus working a full-time job and trying to keep the house in some kind of livable condition, there has been little physical and mental space to decompress and heal from the stress and trauma associated with COVID-19. We have continued to press on, with glimpses of hope on the horizon with vaccine approvals and school doors reopening.
New Year, New Stressors
But the start of the 2021-22 school year in New Orleans has been filled with lots of maternal anxiety and parenting stress. For the last year and a half, our children have been protected in our own little bubbles we’ve built for them. The start of the school year brought more than the normal amount of mom guilt and worries about our babies not being under our own protection and care.
That said, the start of this school year was an opportunity for many moms to begin attempting to make their own mental health a priority for the first time since the start of the pandemic. With the start of this new school year in New Orleans, many moms have started to realize just how overwhelmed and anxious we have been. In many ways, as the caretakers and protectors of our children, we’ve been holding our breath trying to just keep it all together, and we haven’t been able to exhale. But many women in NOLA have realized that they can’t just keep holding their breath – we need to find a way to process and cope with the symptoms of anxiety that we’ve been just trying to manage since 2020.
The Delta Variant Surge
We never could have predicted that as we would be sending our children back to school, the delta variant of COVID-19 would be raging through our New Orleans community and threatening the health of our kids. With this new COVID-19 risk, many of us have felt a re-traumatization. We are finding that our anxiety is triggered by thoughts of quarantine, COVID tests, exposure risks, and general fears about how our schools are protecting or not protecting our kids.
Then, just two weeks into the school year, Hurricane Ida came roaring through our community causing utter destruction of our properties and disruption of our lives. Whatever sense of normalcy we had begun to develop during the start of the school year has been scattered by the winds of Ida.
You’re probably wondering, “Can counseling for moms help me to get through this?” It all just feels like too much!
Life in the post-Hurricane Ida world is similar to the world we’ve been existing in since the start of the pandemic: We are living in a state of survival. Most of us still aren’t home and are wondering when we can actually return. We aren’t certain where we will go next or what our kids are supposed to do about school. Each day we get more answers, but with those answers come many more questions. And with each day, you may find yourself experiencing more and more symptoms of anxiety such as struggling to concentrate or make decisions, feeling easily triggered by overstimulation, and being completely weighed down by the overwhelm of it all.
While we absolutely want and need our anxious feelings to go away, our minds and bodies are just trying to get us through each day healthy and alive. And though we are ready to begin healing from our trauma associated with COVID-19, we are now experiencing the compounded trauma of adding in Hurricane Ida and even the re-triggering of our experiences during Hurricane Katrina or other storms.
It all feels so heavy.
Here are four ways to help you manage your feelings of anxiety and overwhelm in the aftermath of Hurricane Ida
Hold Your Expectations Low and Offer Self-Compassion
Right now, none of us are operating at our highest level of functioning. If you feel like you are simply trying to figure out how to get from one moment to the next, that is completely normal during in the aftermath of a trauma. Some days may feel easier or more productive than others; the next day may be a struggle to simply get out of bed.
If all you can muster up for the day is to put on Netflix for the kids and order pizza for lunch, accept it and roll with it. Simplicity is the key when we are in a constant state of heightened stress and anxiety. In the same way you would embrace a friend who was struggling during a challenging time, offer yourself that same compassion and grace when you wish that you had more physical and mental energy for other things. Remind yourself that THIS IS HARD, and you are doing the absolute best you possibly can right now.
Give Yourself Permission to Fall Apart
As moms, we instinctively put the needs of our kids ahead of our own, especially during such uncertain times when their worlds are completely upside-down. We prioritize their wants, their needs, and their emotions, all while trying to keep our own emotions bottled up so our kids won’t see or feel our own worry and stress. But it is still important to let yourself feel and experience your own emotions.
If you need to go into the bathroom in the middle of the day and have a good cry, do it. If you need to step outside the hotel after the kids are in bed and have a good scream in the car, go for it! Allow yourself to feel your sadness, your grief, your worry, and your fears because keeping them bottled up inside will only lead to them spilling out eventually, often in an unhealthy way. So, find a way to create the space for your own emotional response.
Reach Out to Others
It can feel counterintuitive to reach out to our close friends and family during a disaster when we know they have just gone through the same tragedy and are hurting in the same ways. As moms and women, we tend to worry about burdening those close to us with our own problems. And while our support system may not be able to physically or emotionally be there for us in the exact same ways they usually are, there can be real support in talking with someone else who is going through the same traumatic experience we are. It can feel so validating to know that we are not the only one who feels the way we do, and we can feel less alone.
You may not feel comfortable reaching out to friends directly right now, but you would benefit from finding ways to connect with the larger community. Many of the New Orleans’ Mom Facebook groups have been excellent places for fellow moms to come together during this time to say, “Hey, I’m really struggling with this. Am I the only one?” At a time when the Greater New Orleans community is scattered across many states, connecting with friends, family, and even strangers via social media, text, or phone calls can support us in dealing with our anxiety and overwhelm.
Seek Out Counseling for Moms When the Time Is Right
While right now is a time to simply try to survive in the aftermath of Hurricane Ida, when you feel like the time is right, reach out to an online counselor in Louisiana to help you process and cope with your experience. You may not be able to return to your home for some time, so if you find yourself still separated from the New Orleans community, working with a therapist online can be a great fit – you can be anywhere in the state and still get the emotional and mental health support you need.
The last year and a half has certainly been one for the record books here in New Orleans, and it will be important for you to process your emotions when you are ready and find ways to cope with the chronic stress and anxiety you have experienced as a result of these compounded traumas.
If you are feeling like you are in immediate need of emotional or mental health support, the Louisiana Department of Health has set up a 24-hour mental health hotline. You can call 1-866-310-7977 any time of day or night to speak to someone who can help you immediately.
Begin Counseling for Moms in Louisiana
It’s ok to not be ok. These experiences can be difficult to process. That is why I am happy to offer a variety of services to support moms in Louisiana to process what has happened. I also offer support for residents of Colorado, and Hawaii. To start your therapy journey, please follow these simple steps:
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Other Therapy Services Provided By Ashley Comegys, LCSW
As a therapist, I provide for women living in Louisiana, Hawaii, and Colorado. My mental health services include online postpartum anxiety and online postpartum depression treatment, online depression treatment, online grief counseling for women, and online trauma treatment for women. Additionally, I also offer online therapy for military spouses, online individual counseling for women, and online postpartum support.